First Date
First Date

You actually got her to agree to go out on a real, actual date with you. Congratulations! But that was actually the easy part. Of course, you want this date to go well, and it’s times like this you wish you had some sort of ability to see into the future and plan everything in advance. Unfortunately, life is not a movie and you have to put your best foot forward to make sure the night, or day (whatever you’re into) goes smoothly. Here are a few things you should keep in mind:

You’ve been talking to her for a while, so it’s safe to assume you have a fairly decent idea of what she likes and doesn’t like. Take this knowledge and channel it into planning your first date. Asking her what she wants to do is somewhat cliché and some females won’t even tell you. All you get is a series of “I don’t know” until she caves in and mentions a random place off the top of her head. Surprise her. And don’t limit yourself by sticking to the very common choices like a restaurant or a bar, branch out. You can take her to see a movie she’s been wanting to see, or to a concert of sorts. Sure, you want enough privacy to get to know each other better, but you also want to make sure she has a good time.

“You’re never fully dressed without a smile” – One of my favorite quotations. It doesn’t matter how dashing you look when you arrive to pick her up, or when she meets you at the rendezvous spot, if you aren’t smiling. Women respond well to positive reinforcement, and what’s more positive than a welcoming smile? Why glower or keep a straight face when out on a date with someone you’ve led to believe you’re interested in? Unless of course you want her to spend the entire time you’re together wandering what’s wrong with you or thinking you’re too uptight.

Body language is key on the first date, as a woman’s subconscious is constantly scanning for something to nitpick. Things like crossing your legs or fidgeting might lead one to assume you have something to hide, and slouching or sitting callously can mean you are a slob. It’s generally advisable to sit straight, lean in when you need to, and keep your hands in plain sight at all times.

It’s no secret that women like attention. Ask her questions that will let her know you are interested in who she is and what she’s about. Also, pay attention to her answers. Don’t just ask and busy yourself with something else while she rattles on. Nod when you need to, and contribute where you should. This sort of interaction will earn you a gold star in her books. You should however refrain from asking anything too personal or inadequate. If something you say makes her uncomfortable, apologize, make a joke, and change the subject. It’s also important to remember information about herself she might have disclosed to you during earlier interactions and try to get her to elaborate on them. This way she knows you were paying attention and you really care. She will be pleased.

During these conversations, it’s important to find the right balance between serious and funny. You don’t want to come across as too serious, and you don’t want to look unserious either. Keep the conversation pleasant and positive.

Flattery is cool, but only when used sparely and appropriately. There isn’t really much to say on this besides timing is important. It’s better to wait until sometime during the date to say something like “Gosh, you’re pretty.”. There’s just something nice about spontaneous flattery.

As you know, a first date is a test and whoever you are out with is silently judging you and deciding whether or not they will consider doing this again. This is not the time to let on that you have insecurities or are somewhat crazy. What a lady wants is a man who is confident, interested, engaged, self-assured, ambitious, and happy, and that is what you are to show her if you want a second date.

Occasional physical contact – a touch of the thigh, briefly holding her arm when trying to get a point across – is permitted, but do not grab or “accidentally brush” anywhere in the red light areas. If a woman wants your hands on her, she will let you know, but until you receive an invitation, kindly keep your hands to yourself. Unless you actually want her to be uncomfortable and spend the rest of the date cussing you out in her mind.

When the bill comes, just pay. No, we do not want to go Dutch on the bill. Just pay. Thanks.

Sometime during the date, something might happen that will make you think “Maybe this wasn’t such a great idea.”. Do not give up. First impressions really aren’t all they’re cut out to be. You need to consider that in as much as you want tonight to go smoothly, she wants the same thing. So, no matter what happens, see the date through before making any decisions.

You absolutely, positively, most definitely DO NOT want to drink too much. You may think that you are funnier or more charming when “slightly intoxicated”, but you really aren’t. If this girl is looking for the real deal, then she wants to get to know the real you. Not some alcohol-induced misrepresentation of yourself. Also, alcohol breath is a bit of a turn off for most women.

How you end the date is completely and totally up to you, but don’t just say “Bye.” and walk away like the time you guys just spent together meant nothing. A handshake, or hug, or peck, whatever you’re comfortable with. Just do SOMETHING.

Of course planet earth is filled with a vast variety of women, when you take into consideration ethnicity, customs, preferences, etc., and there is no guarantee that what works for ne will work for the other. However, these guidelines are broad enough to help you float through your date without screwing it up. Also, I can come here and write as any words as I like telling you what to do and what not to do, but, in the end, whether or not you get a second date is totally and completely up to you.

By Haba Naija Contributor

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