—————updated 3rd of April 2020—————-

Together Before Getting Married?
Together Before Getting Married?

Not too long ago, the Nigeria twitter street went crazy about the tremendous increase of young matrimonies going through divorce. The series of arguments was that most of the couples rush into marriage without getting to know themselves better. In most cases both partners hide the very core of their attitudes and behaviours while in courtship and begin to exhibit such behaviour and characters as soon as they knot the tie.
Marriage counsellors have continued to argue that partners should get to know themselves for at least six month before marriage to know if the so-called matrimony could work, a question that one may ask is how do you get to know yourself better ? should you live together before getting married ?
While many African societal customs and traditions frawns at the idea of partners living together before marriage, a lot of testimonies have shown that it is the best way to get to know if your marriage will work or not. Although this does not guarantee that you both will end up together, it gives you a preamble of what your marriage and life with him/her would be like if you end up together.
The both of you know that you want to be together for the rest of your lives. There may have even been a marriage proposal and a wedding date set. The next question that may be asked in the relationship deals with cohabitation.

There is much debate about whether couples should live together before they get married. The opinions vary, and the sources come from religious, moral, or even personal views. It is a delicate decision that may cause an outcry in your family circle, but there are some benefits to living with someone before choosing to marry them. Many couples have even attributed their long term happiness to a live in relationship before marriage.

The Masks Will Be Removed

The major advantage to moving in with your companion before getting married is that you get a chance to see them for who they really are. When you are dating, you are putting forth your best efforts in order to win the heart of the other. But, when you are alone together and sharing a living space, you will see the person that the world does not see. Your significant other will eventually let their true colors show. This may be a good thing or a bad thing, but you will be able to get a glimpse inside their real world before saying those vows.
Sometimes, what you see in the peripheral might be opposite to what’s in the core. A partner could hide some attributes, behaviours e.t.c, living together will uncover a lot about yourselves. This is when you know if you really love your partner or you were in love with either the personality, beauty or money.

It is Good Practice before the Real Thing

When you live with someone, it is no longer “me” it is “us”. So, there will be a lot of mergers. This can include anything from furniture and towels to income. This will be the real eye opener because you will then see if it will truly be happily ever after once you get married. You will also see if the two of you can actually exist together in the same living space for the rest of your lives. Compromising is a big part of having a successful marriage and chances are if you cannot agree on simple things now, the problem will only become bigger once you get married.

This also makes sense when it comes to finance. The majority of people who get divorced blame financial issues as the cause. You will get a closer view of how well your companion can manage their money. Living together also means you can save more money towards your big day.

The Relationship Becomes Stronger

On many occasions, living together before marriage helps to strengthen the bond, the love you share. It enables partners to understand themselves better. It helps partners to understand how they both react to situations. For instance, how to handle tense situations, when to keep quiet, what to say in order to appeal to his/her emotions.
The best part of living together is that you can finally communicate openly. This helps to strengthen the relationship, and therefore the two of you will be stronger as a couple once you are married. You will understand the importance of teamwork, and you will not enter into the marriage being selfish and uncompassionate to each other.

It helps to set priorities right

Another importance of marriage is that it helps both partners to set their priorities right. It enables you guys to understand your perspectives about life. Have an idea of what your lives should be like at a particular age, it enables you guys to know if you’re on the same page.

How to handle issues

Living together helps you to develop how to handle issues better without interference from the third party. How to settle issues helps you to understand that compromise is important in a relationship.
Although arguments may arise sometimes, understanding when to apologise, and take blame has to do with you understanding yourselves better before tying the knot.
This may be a very sensitive subject because of the cultural, moral, religious, and personal views that you have been taught. If you do decide to live together, at least you will know if the marriage will stand the test of time. Ultimately, it is up to you and your significant other to decide what is best for your relationship.

Original article can be read below

The both of you know that you want to be together for the rest of your lives. There may have even been a marriage proposal and a wedding date set. The next question that maybe asked in the relationship deals with cohabitation.

There is much debate about whether couples should live together before they get married. The opinions vary, and the sources come from religious, moral, or even personal views. It is a delicate decision that may cause an outcry in your family circle, but there are some benefits to living with someone before choosing to marry them. Many couples have even attributed their long term happiness to a live in relationship before marriage.

The Masks Will Be Removed

The major advantage to moving in with your companion before getting married is that you get a chance to see them for who they really are. When you are dating, you are  putting forth your best efforts in order to win the heart of the other. But, when you are alone together and sharing a living space, you will see the person that the world does not see. Your significant other will eventually let their true colors show. This may be a good thing or a bad thing, but you will be able to get a glimpse inside their real world before saying those vows.

It is Good Practice before the Real Thing

When you live with someone, it is no longer “me” it is “us”. So, there will be a lot of mergers. This can include anything from furniture and towels to income. This will be the real eye opener because you will then see if it will truly be happily ever after once you get married. You will also see if the two of you can actually exist together in the same living space for the rest of your lives. Compromising is a big part of having a successful marriage and chances are if you cannot agree on simple things now, the problem will only become bigger once you get married.

This also makes sense when it comes to finance. The majority of people who get divorced blame financial issues as the cause. You will get a closer view of how well your companion can manage their money. Living together also means you can save more money towards your big day.

The Relationship Becomes Stronger

The best part of living together is that you can finally communicate openly. This helps to strengthen the relationship, and therefore the two of you will be stronger as a couple once you are married. You will understand the importance of teamwork, and you will not enter into the marriage being selfish and uncompassionate to each other.

This may be a very sensitive subject because of the cultural, moral, religious, and personal views that you have been taught. If you do decide to live together, at least you will know if the marriage will stand the test of time. Ultimately, it is up to you and your significant other to decide what is best for your relationship.

By Haba Naija Admin

Temi Odurinde worked in domain name registration and web hosting industry for many years before becoming a web entrepreneur. He is passionate about web and mobile technologies. Temi contribute mainly to Haba Naija Internet and Technology sections. He has a BSc in Computing and Psychology, a postgraduate degree in Internet Technologies. Outside work, he love Oral Storytelling, long distance running and playing Volleyball.

2 thought on “Should You Live Together with your Boyfriend or Girlfriend Before Getting Married?”
  1. I agree with that living together before marriage is good for them. I think this chance is very profitable to know each other. There are so many couples who are separated by divorce these days. After they get married, they may think that their life styles, feelings and idea are so different from their life partner because they have lived each other in different environment with different people. By living together before marriage, they can know their life styles and decide whether they get married or not. Therefore, I think that living together before marriage can be a great opportunity to you.

  2. KYUNG,
    Thank you for your comment but what do you say to those who thinks its not a good idea to live together before getting married, especially the religious types?

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