Congratulations Letter to President Baba Buhari

My dear Baba, sannu, yaa haiki? Ya Mata? Yamutanin gida? Barka Baba… I just tell myself to appreciate you because I want to celebrate with you last week and come to Kano to rejoice with you over the mairage of Mallam Yusuf. Infact, I want to come but the enemies of your government have increased transport telling me say do I think that ransport is same price as in 2015? That is even main reason I write because I vexed for the Dan Iska and remind am, I mean remind him that it is that 2015 Government that put us here because of their kwarraption. That time I remind him he always cue at petrol station before he can buy fuel.
Dear Baba, main reason I write quickly is that we need law to stop some of these Mallam preaching rubbish . Where I pray on Friday, the imam was quoting one Quran verse saying it is in chapter 16 or 17, I don’t know again ,that people who are wasteful are brothers and sisters with Shaitan. Nobody is needing to tell me before gaskia, before I know he is just an enemy of progress . He is just jealous seriously walahi.Because the small Quran I know say in end of suratu waduha that if God do something good for you, let everybody know. So there is nothing concerning expensive wedding and being brother with Shaitan together. It is when they want to jealous they quote Big BIG verses.
Baba, immediately, we have to license all imam before they can preach. That is main reason I write. Imagine the same imam saying you that cannot Islamise your children even when they have Muslim names. That when ango is driving expensive motorcycle and have accident, Allah save him but you only say Alhamdulillhi with wasteful iPhone gift to your wedding guests and you are not grateful to God. Imagine someone insulting wedding guests that come in private and borrowed jets.I don’t even understand these people. The same man that is claiming Nigeria is poverty capital is saying we have too many private jets. I ask him within myself, is it possible, anywhere in the world,that poor countries have the most private jet? Imagine an ordinary man who does not have car, just because he is imam saying the gift which pain me I miss when I cannot come Kano has no value baba? That instead of being grateful to Allah our ango cannot talk to his wife , amariya, and she is dressing exposing her body. I know what is wrong with the imam. He think he is wise and knowledgible somebody and lie say that even queen and princess in England always dress decently without exposing body but our own Princess amariya is… I am sorry for him. DSS should arrest that Imam Baba and teach him lesson immediately. Let them arrest him next Friday so that he can spend at least weekend in detention before his bail. Somebody that does not know the relativity in culture that people like me learn in university, somebody that has not been to London to see the queen, has not been to London for medical care and can only complain of doctor strike if he fall sick, is now talk of England. I am sure he do not knows that ango and amariya see themselves in Success,no, Sorry, or is it Suree University in England where they marry. Baba I beg, da’Allah, do something about these imams. The main reason I write is, what concern Imam with issue of security? Someone who is to suppose to tell us about prayer, Mecca, charity , fast and iman is poking his nose about security like an expert saying everyone in Nigeria are dying and I answer that has he die? If he die, he can’t preach now. If I die I cannot come to mosque. He kept saying banditry, boko haram, kidnapping on road and schools as if he don’t see train everywhere just for travellers. He don’t know that children is blessing of God. He talk talk, talk reach the striking doctors. Why are they striking? Are they thunders…,or Premier League footballers?
Baba, finally, main reason I write is that don’t mind people like that Imam, just help me greet our young sarki of the other room who is the main reason I write this letter. I should greet him myself but I don’t have his Phone address. Please help me greet him very well because I know he will keeping my iPhone for me like my mind tell me.
Yours sincerely
Professor Maiwawa
MA candidate Wazo University
N.B.
Baba, Professor is nickname all my aboki give me. I remember, that imam, you must arrest him. He say you give Paralympics Olympic gold winner100 thousand naira and give ordinary Olympic bronze medalist more than 1 million naira. He is polish Baba.
Bye-bye Baba please don’t forget my main message to ango. The iPhone message sir