Following Up On First Date
Following Up On First Date

Yaaay! So, you made it through the first date! Did you have a swell time? Was it all you expected and more? Are you already looking forward to the next time you guys are out together? If you answered “Yes” to these questions, then you’re reading the right post. ^.^

Yeah, I know guys have their own code book that they rely on in situations like this, and I know I’m not (yet) an expert in human studies, but here are a few things I thought maybe you’d like to keep in mind while trying to get the girl of your dreams to go out on another date, and to keep going out on dates, with you.

One almost-sure-fire way to get her to go out with you again is to ask her at the end of your first date. During your date, she probably mentioned a bunch of stuff she loves doing, so invite her out to do one of them. For instance, if she mentioned she loves games, tell her you’d love to take her to an arcade some time, or even the next day if you’re bold enough. The advantage of asking her out again so soon is she’ll be too pre-occupied looking forward to the next date to think about the one you just had.

Of course, there are girls who like to think everything through and weigh possible outcomes and such and these girls will most likely turn down an offer coming up so soon. Do not despair. Give her some time to think about it.

The next day, text or call saying how much fun you had on the date and that you can’t wait to do it again. Something short and simple though. Chances are if you try to pack too much details into the message, like how you miss the way she smells and such, you’ll come off as a bit of a creep and you don’t want that. You also don’t want to reveal too much about yourself to this lady you just met. So, refrain from including information like “I just had breakfast at Barcelos”. Females like a bit of mystery.

Once you’re successful in securing a second date and that goes smoothly as well, you’re pretty much on your way.  Now, you just have to make sure your outings don’t get too monotonous. Mix it up a little bit. Go to the park, a movie, a party, or just take a long walk and talk. The key is to get her to start seeing the two of you as a couple.

And yes, there aren’t any precise rules about when to have sex with a potential partner for the first time, but it’s important to not expect sex or lay emphasis on the issue until BOTH parties feel it’s the right time. Instead, enjoy spending time together and getting to know each other. I mean, you’re both adults right? You should be able to respect her decision to either refrain from sex for at least a month or to have sex with you on the first date. Whichever it is, handle the situation like an adult before and especially after coitus.

Any time you’re out with her, it’s important to be upbeat, positive and fun. It’s even more important to not be one of those guys who constantly bash girls they’ve dated in the past. No girl likes those guys. Why? Sure, it’s great if you think we’re cooler than your ex, and we want to see ourselves being with you, but we’re also thinking ahead. By badmouthing your ex, you’re telling a lady you’ll most likely do the same with her if your relationship ends. I don’t know about any girl who wants to hang around a guy who has a big mouth.

Also, don’t spend an entire date complaining about all the things you think are wrong in your life. It’s not that we don’t care, but when you’re out with a girl you’re interested in, the last thing you want to do is come across as a whiner. Besides, what girl wants a man who can’t handle his business? Your dates should be dedicated to getting to know the best of each other, so show her the best of you.

Conversations should be two-sided when you go out. Ask questions, listen, and contribute. It’s understandable to want to impress a female with your achievements (if you have any) but bragging is very unattractive. Instead, focus on impressing her with your mind. Women love a man who can keep up intellectually.

I don’t think I need to tell you that checking out other girls while the two of you are out together is a big NO.

Don’t dwell on her appearance; complimenting her looks every 5 minutes. Compliment her once and get it over with. Put more effort into creating a mental and emotional bond with her. Otherwise, she’ll start to assume you’re only interested in her body.

Most importantly, do not be a pushover. Girls like a challenge, so challenge her mind. Don’t simply agree with everything she says in a bid to impress her. All it will do is make her see you as weak, which will in turn cause her to lose interest in you. It’s important to be yourself with her at all times. Share ideas, be open and be real with her.

Needless to say, after she’s been on a couple of dates with you and seen how good the two of you are together, it won’t be long before she’s fallen for you and your relationship can blossom.

By Haba Naija Contributor

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