Every single one of us enters the world the same way. We are clay, ready to be molded into the women we are to become. The first time we are exposed to self-awareness is when we are children. Our parents or guardians are the ones who show us and tell us who we are. They are the ones that will also give us the first, and maybe the only impression we ever have of ourselves. Some parents choose to teach their children positive affirmations. They fill them with loving doses of wisdom, and they also give their children value. This usually equates to the child having a healthy outlook on life when they are older.
On the other hand, if a child receives the opposite from their guardians, they tend to have a negative outlook on life. The child will eventually become an adult that believes that they are nothing, and will never be anything in life. This is why it is so important that we choose our words wisely, especially when we are talking to young children.
Learning to Accept Yourself
Nigerian women, and other women of color, generally have a very hard time loving themselves the way that they are. Women are constantly introduced to the “ideal” image of beauty that they see on television and in magazines. It is then when we realize that we are not that perfect weight, we are not that perfect skin tone, and we do not have that perfect hair.
The truth is, most of what you see on television and movies is a bunch of smoke and mirrors. It is a mask that we are shown, and the truth is often hidden. Millions of dollars are invested into these celebrities so they can look a certain way.
The important lesson to remember is that the people that we often admire are not really who the person truly is. You are admiring an image, an ideal that is not real.
For generations the African community has discussed the subject of self-esteem. A loosely translated version of the definition for self-esteem would be “the belief you have in yourself.” Somehow this definition has become merged and twisted so much that now women replace the word “belief” with the word “vanity.” You will notice that some of the most successful people in history were the ones that loved who they were and took pride in that. You must make the same decision if you truly want to have a higher self-esteem. These are the steps you will have to take:
- Know who you really are.
- Really understand your past.
- Know where you want to go during your journey.
You Have To Know Who You Are
I had an aunt that was very famous for saying to never allow anyone to define you. One of my friends always tells her daughters to not let anyone call them anything but their name. These are two simple but powerful messages. You have to understand who you are, so you can share your message with others. We are all placed here for a reason. Determine what your reason is and make the most out of the life you have been given.